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But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the details. We have never talked about it either. And how do I bring it up gently? A: Thank you for being brave and submitting your question! According to Mayo Clinic, delayed ejaculation manifests in a couple of different ways : Lifelong, acquired, generalized, and situational. People of all genders experience pleasure in different intensities, and your partner might be on the lower end of the spectrum.
Make it an immersive experience. For more physical sensations, try using a vibrating cock ring or vibrator. Also using lube will help everything glide easier and feel more intense. One of the most effective ways to get men to orgasm faster is to incorporate a little anal play into your sex life.
AMAB people need to warm up too. Orgasming is as mental as it is physical. Or try getting sexy without orgasming — take a bath together, give each other massages.
Learn what feels good for both of you. There are a lot of possibilities here — your boyfriend might be interested in exploring fantasies or power dynamics that he feels embarrassed bringing up, he might want you to stimulate him in a different way, or he might simply feel too uncomfortable to ask you to change positions. Introduce the idea of him being more vocal about his wants by bringing up some of your own. I loved that. Our society tends to think that men are relentless horndogs who will have sex at any opportunity. But plenty of men and AMAB people have lower libidos. Or no libido at all.
Because this can be sensitive, try to be gentle when bringing this up. Delayed ejaculation can also be caused a whole host of medical factorsincluding medications, injuries, heart disease, prostate issues, urinary tract infections, hormonal problems, or neurological conditions.
Since there are so many potential causes, I would encourage him to have get a check-up with his doctor. Additionally, sharing that you go to your doctor to talk about contraceptives and sex may help him better understand that partnered sex means everyone does their part. Maybe he just likes getting you off. Good luck! By Vanessa Marin. He Might Have A Medical Issue Delayed ejaculation can also be caused a whole host of medical factorsincluding medications, injuries, heart disease, prostate issues, urinary tract infections, hormonal problems, or neurological conditions.
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